The Environmental Protective Agency (EPA) was called in today after a local school child broke into the Nuclear Bay Power (NBP) storage vault and ate a rod of uranium. The child that can no longer be identified is believed to be a local 7-year-old boy Timmy Write. Schoolchildren nicknamed him Tommy Bright after he started glowing green halfway through the field trip. Governor Rorry spoke about the incident this mourning stating "I am passing a bill to defund schools across Texas. They must learn from their mistakes and deal with the consequences of their actions! We will not allow this to happen again to any child in the entire state. I love this country, and long live Texas." Immediately after his speech school teachers in major cities went on strike.
Protesters stood outside the capital with picket signs saying "Cut Our Pay, We'll Walk Away!", "No Funds, No Class, This Strike Will Last!" and "Stop The Fallout, Fund Education". One teacher, Mr Tiberious Cerberus, is even quoted as saying "Someday soon, we might just have to make our own schools. Then at least we can treat ourselves to lunch once in a while." These protests have ruined the governor's reputation, and plans to overthrow the governor have spread across the state. In the meantime, Texans are expected to see a healthy tax return this upcoming February, as more than 65% of school-based taxes have been returned.
The School Child is still under tight supervision and has been transported to a local EPA facility. It isn't clear if he can even make a recovery due to the nature of the incident causing almost a full organ failure. Officials say that anyone in the general area of The School Child could be at risk of radiation poisoning. The EPA is currently looking into how The School Child broke into the vault, but it is still up in the air. We at the Starr County Review tried to speak with the boy's parents, but they both wish to not disclose anything without a lawyer present.